I totally watched Encino Man… on purpose

Oh hey internet, I didn’t see you there. I was busy sitting on my couch in teenage girl position… which is how I would describe sitting on the couch with my heels at my bum and my arms wrapped around my knees. If you are thinking something else, then for shame. Seriously, for shame. Luckily, I know my readership and when I say “teenage girl position” you all think something way more wholesome than I can ever come up with. That’s because I’m a monster…. wait, no… I’m… yeah, let’s just go with monster. Anyhoo, this was my total roundabout way of telling y’all that I watched a movie tonight. Yes, a whole entire movie! Not part of it followed by me passing out and waking up several hours later with the menu repeating on my TV, a movie from start to finish! What movie you say? Encino Man.

So several things need to be mentioned about Encino Man; Yes, Pauly Shore is in it, and yes, Brendan Fraser is awesome. Those two are given, but the rest of the movie totally changes based on your life experience. You see, at one time, I was not as awesome as I am now (ie see young Barney Stinson versus his present self), so previously I identified with our protagonist, Mr. Rudy himself, Sean Austin. Unfortunately, time has not done his character any favours. He is supposed to be the character we side with in his goal of rising above the “ignored geek” status but really he’s just a social whore trying to advance his status. [Spoiler] The first time he does something legitimately good, is when he apologizes for getting rid of Link, although Stoney is there too out him as a douche. [/spoiler] So even before that spoiler, this character deserved his lonesome status because he was a dick. You know what Nerd Culture? Being a nerd is not an excuse for being a douche. Douchetitude transcends cultures. Thankfully, as a jock, I solve my problems through physical confrontations (and I can totally take you). For the rest of you, remember one thing: be excellent to each other.

In summary, or “TLDR” for you innernetz peoples, go watch Bill and Ted’s Excellent Adventure. It’s somewhat appropriate with the amount of Back to the Future time travelling memes happening today, although slightly more awesome. You know what? I take that back. Bill and Ted and Marty and Doc should somehow have a crossover superawesome timetravelling extravaganza. Unless that already exists in some form of creepy fanfic… seriously, you crazy fanfic writers, seriously.

Your pal,