Door Flyers as Literature

Originally I was planning on writing about internet memes. You know, those fun things that allow us to comically approach such deeply personal topics such as our woeful failure to live up to our dreams, let alone our parents’ standards, ala sad Keanu. No really, why do you think he is so sad? You can tell yourself that it is because of a disappointing sandwich but we all know that it is really his post-modern expression of the futility of meeting external expectations. I’m putting the over/under of my use of spell check for that last sentence at 4. The correct answer is over; bonus points to the person who guessed “of” as one of my misspelled words (editor’s note: he spelt it as “pf”). Instead of these fantastical memes, I felt I should discuss a flyer I found squeezed into my door.

I do need to give these flyer people credit because they did make a full colour page of propaganda. Regardless of what they are schlocking, I do appreciate the effort made in making it look nice. Now while they definitely had my attention with the full colour pictures, they lost me with the meaning of the big bold text. There were a whole bunch of words, but big, bold and prominent was the question “WILL HUMANS RUIN THIS EARTH?”. My first thought it is that this is some sort of religious brochure. My second thought was, “wait,  this Earth?”. Every religion that I know of is pretty keen on making sure we know there has only really been us and our grand master puba (GMP) was responsible for the creation of everything. Once you toss in the this qualifier, you imply there are other Earths that may or may not be ruinable by us humans.

Fancy promotional topics aside, I decided to read the rest of the flyer. Turns out that part of a multi-day convention of Jehovah’s Witnesses will be answering that caps locked question. From then on my interpretation turned sadly sad. If you are from the future, you would get that joke, being that it is a takeoff of a meme that I am trying to start, which obviously will become popular at some point. If you aren’t from the future, well… yeah… Good luck with that.

Random asides, aside…. There was one specific segway that really got to me. They quoted Matthew 6:10 “Jesus taught his followers to pray: Let your kingdom come”, which was immediately follow by their question of “What is God’s Kingdom?”. Literal me interprets this by connecting “your” to “God” (although really, what other interpretation is there?). So as God, I only have one decree; more macaroni pictures.

Your pal,