It was a short week between my callback and the audition. Being such a well prepared person in general, I had not bothered to get any details about what the audition would entail. I figured I would need to prepare something, so I came up with a brilliant speech that would be accompanied by a cue card sight gag. I procrastinated, of course, and ended up with a speech outline and no cue cards when the time came to leave. So with a full tank of gas and some good friends for company, your hero hit the road to the big city.
The great thing is that what I lack in preparation I make up in genius. I masterfully placed a suggestion that my passengers could make my cue cards for me and they took the bait (Editor’s Note: He asked nicely with an explanation and they obliged). Sadly, I was not able to incorporate them in the actual audition but they were extremely awesome.
Registration started at 8AM, so I made sure to arrive at the convention centre by 7AM. In case anyone is curious, I did walk past a hot dog stand that was open at 6:30AM because really, nothing says breakfast like an all beef wiener. The convention centre had 3 main events that day; Wipeout Canada auditions, Miss Teen Canada, and a medicinal marijuana expo. You know you are in Canada when most people do not even notice a beauty contest.
It didn’t take too long for the crowd of hopefuls to fill the lobby. For some reason my Giant Tiger costume did not seem to measure up to the calibre of costumes.
|Mmmm, marker fume-ilicious.||
The giant line of applicants and supporters were buzzing. Everyone was telling stories of their applications, their favourite videos, and bonding over our love of big red balls. The mood was happy and supportive, even though we were all in direct competition for a fairly small number of spots. The first step of the process was handing in our forms and getting our audition number. They wisely pre-assigned numbers instead of first come first serve. Ennis and Jessica were mingling with the line to keep us entertained during the wait.
I got #76 and proceeded on to an auditorium for some more waiting. This room alone was worth the price of admission. What do you get when you dump a bunch of wild, crazy Canadians with dreams of being on television into a room? Sheer awesomeness. And that was before Ennis was set loose to encourage more zanyness for a chance at winning a T-shirt. There was a costume contest, a victory dance off, and a talent show that evolved into feats of strength. I can now say that I have been enthralled by a push-up contest. Spontaneous adding of claps between push-ups goes a long way for entertainment value.
My #76 turned out to be a great number; it gave me some time to absorb the commotion and get seen before noon. Auditions were fairly brief, but even at a few minutes each you can imagine how long it would take to get through 300+ people. The audition itself was incredibly fun. I showed them my victory dance, shout out, and fielded a couple of questions. I even got to bust out my nerd voice, which totally got us all laughing. It was an amazing experience all around.
There were so many awesome people that I feel I should shamelessly plug some of their videos.
Ennis Esmer is a comedic genius and I can’t believe I forgot he was in Billable Hours
Bowser’s real name is Steve
From what I heard, this guy had the best of the Old Spice style video
Sonicbolt was lucky number 1!
The Athletic Diabetic had a really cool jersey
El Raptor crapped an egg during the costume contest
Aside from all of the fun and games there were decorated athletes (national arm wrestling champ!), people with inspiring stories, and the obsessively committed (from shaving body hair into words to getting a Wipeout Canada tattoo). Wipeout Canada is going to be a great show, make sure you tune in. Of course it will be an exceptionally outstanding show if I’m on it.