Dear Dick Pound,
Now is the perfect time to reflect on the successes and failures of the Vancouver games, with the 2010 Winter Olympics fresh in our minds. The past two weeks gave us tremendous senses of competition, sportsmanship, and international compatriotism. In fact, the Vancouver Olympic games demonstrated a global harmonizing force so strong that the biggest disappointment was the brevity of the entire event. The 2010 Winter Olympics may be over, but the journey towards ever lasting global unity has just begun.
It is in the spirit of global unity that I propose the expansion of the Winter Olympics. The Americans managed to set the record with 37 total medals at the Winter Olympics. To put that in perspective, USA had 36 gold medals in the 2008 Summer Olympics. That’s right, a record setting total medal count was just barely better than their “yawn” gold medal total in the summer games. Maybe other countries don’t have Winters that last longer than Summers, but I am certain that there is room to extend the Winter games. That’s where I come in. Being the ruling authority on all things cool and amazing, I am clearly the most qualified to develop new and exciting sporting events.
The first new event I propose combines sheer adrenaline with fine tuned teamwork. I call it the Skeleluge.
The Skeleluge is a combination of the classic Luge event with the extreme new(ish) event of Skeleton. We already have 2 and 4 man bobsled and the 2 man luge, so why not combine skeleton and luge into a new super sport? It may even usurp pairs figure skating as the awesomest coed sport in the entire Olympics (Summer included, nances!).
Please, Dick Pound the Skeleluge into the 2014 Winter Olympics.